Finding Faith in Infertility. Part 2.

 With everything that I said yesterday I wanted to add a few things.  Nothing that you go through struggling with infertility is easy.  Watching everyone around you conceive with ease, isn't easy.  Passing strangers in stores and restaurants with their baby bumps, isn't easy.  Listening to your children beg, cry, pray and question why, isn't easy.  DJ at about 4 years old, asked why we couldn't just go to the hospital and pick us out a baby.  Of course, with tear filled eyes we explained that it wasn't that easy.  I watched my husband try everything in his power to provide his family with the missing miss by reaching out to the adoption agencies.  He tried everything he could to fill the hole in our hearts just as any good husband and father would do.  

During our journey lots of people gave us advice such as telling me to get rid of all of DJ's baby stuff I had kept.  Don't try and that's when it will happen.  I mean all kinds of crazy suggestions as well that I want speak of.  But one person in our lives always said the same thing.  His granddaddy, Therl Cartwright, God rest his beautiful, faithful soul, always said, "Give it to God."  So when I had finally realized I didn't have the strength to continue doing what the doctors advised us to do anymore, that's exactly what we did.  I gave it all to God.  I gave everything away that was DJ's when he was little.  I went back to nursing school and finished.  I bought a brand new 2 door car and we bought the house that my husband grew up in.  So to also show you that God does have a sense of humor as well; that 2 door car was a beautiful, silver Chevrolet Camaro with black racing stripes and I had always wanted one.  No way a baby and a car seat was fitting in the back of that car, right.  But we had decided that us getting a baby would happen in his time or maybe it wasn't in his plan at all as I explained yesterday.  

We continued living our lives but with different hearts.  We began serving for God and living for God.  We began teaching DJ more about God and how to treat people and how you should live.  And when we least expected it, his timing became our perfect time and she is perfect!!

G. P. W. L.

Melissa Harris